Life Update...

I know it's been awhile since ive posted any blogs, and this one really isnt for anyone particular... i just feel like creating a new diary entry.

a lot of things have happened over the past month.... let's start with my car... at first i was originally going to buy a new jeep because id always wanted one, and wth??? they are fun to drive, it's florida and i love to have the wind in my hair and going topless.... on the jeep, not me. but then against my better judgement, i figured id save the money, one for the boob job, and two just to get my car fixed as it had obvious issues. then i take my car to honda dealership at the end of the street (how convenient, right?) because nobody could tell me exactly what was wrong with it. turns out the transmission is falling apart, literally. $5k to replace the transmission... pass!!! the car isnt even worth that much. so now i have to get a new one. for me, i think this will be the best option. if i buy something used, you never know what shape it's going to be in... and the interest rates are higher... i can get something new with a lower interest rate, and not have to worry about the problems someone else had with it.

For the past 3 weekends, ive had company!! the first 2 weekends, my dad and stepmom came down and hung out with me. They brought down more furniture for my place, cooked me wonderful dinners, and even help me with the new entertainment center i bought.... then last weekend my sisters came. all 3 of them!!! yay!! i was so glad they could come. we spent the day on my neighbors boat, then went and got dinner at archies... this incredible thunderstorm set in after dinner and we watched chick flicks all night. i was doing good in not crying as i walked them out. but then jeri turns around and is crying, which made me cry... and i turn back to look at jenn and she's crying too.... such a bittersweet morning. deni, the youngest, is standing there looking at us like we'd lost our minds... apparently, her prepubescent hormones had not kicked in yet. lol.

and last but not least.... i finally got some help with work. so now i am going to be off every weekend!!!! yay!!!

Double Good News!!!

I have 2 pieces of good news to share....

1. They hired a second part time person!!!! yay!!! this means that I will have the weekends off before long!! Im so excited, considering since april i've worked EVERY weekend, and since July 1st i've only had 3 days off.

2. I have kinda stopped losing weight. But I'm not gaining either. But the good news is that my neighbor and I are gonna start going to the gym on monday!!! I love doing cardio and the elliptical is my machine of choice. since my work day doesn't start til 10 am it gives me plenty of time in the morning to workout and get ready for work. LOL. as if im not busy enough!!!

now, my goal is to lose enough weight to get plastic surgery. ok. ok. i know. sounds vain, right? but it's seriously something that i've been thinking about. over the last few years i've noticed that my boobs are seriously 2 very different sizes. and i know that our bodies are not symmetrical, but bras don't fit right, wearing a bathing suit is embarrassing to me, and with all the weight i've lost it's become a lot more noticeable. it makes me really self conscience.

lol. so with my new life, i think i need an update on this body. i've started saving for a boob job!! LMAO!!! it's not like i want bigger boobs, i just want things to fit right.... but if im gonna get it done, then i might go up a half a cup or maybe even a full size. who knows?? all i know is that im 24 and one boob should not hang lower than the other!! this is not normal!

anyway, let me know what you think!!

Working my A#@ off.

I know it's been a couple of weeks since i've posted anything, but i have seriously not even had a second to do anything except sleep, shower, and work. in that order. everyday. for the past couple of weeks. this week alone i logged 55 hours in just 5 days. there are still two more days left in the week. that averages out to 11 hour days people!! of course some were longer and some were shorter, but still!!! im exhausted, and tired, and aggravated....

on the good news though... i got a raise!!!! yay. go me!!! and corporate authorized me to hire a part time person to work friday saturday and sunday!!! so in a month or two ill have the weekends off, and be a lead!! i love this job more and more with every passing day. and not every tech becomes a lead within 6 months of getting a job.

Pants off the Ground

Last night, after work, I was bored. GO figure!!! Anyway, I thought about my post from earlier that day, and decided to play dress up in my own closet... not really, but i was wanting to really try on some clothes that i hadn't worn in awhile. so that's what I did. I am PROUD to say that i can fit back into clothes that i haven't worn in almost 2 years!!!!!! ♥

Yes... sadly, I am one of those chicks who have a closet full of clothes, with 4 different sizes to choose from. *sigh*

Anyway, here's the breakdown.... 11's in juniors fit... but i have a really bad muffin top... blah... so not wearing those anytime soon.... 13's fit, are a little tight, and depending on the jeans, no muffin top!!! Yay!!! and 15's are now my fat jeans (where 15's used to be my skinny jeans)!!!!

I feel like i have a whole new wardrobe again!!! lol... i think that was just want i needed to get me outta my self conscience funk i've been in! and.... i was trying on a pair of pants when i felt something in the back pocket of one of my jeans... thinking it was ticket stub or something, i pulled it out, only to realize it was a $10 bill!!

Pants on the Ground

So, let me start out by saying that I ate Taco Hell for lunch yesterday.... and I wish I hadn't.

Anyway, the pants that I bought 3 weeks ago for work are looking worse and worse on me every week**. It's gotten to the point where my pants are so bunched up under my belt, the look like they are pleated. LOL. Luckily, my work shirts are long, so they cover up the mess underneath. Oh yes, I had to stop tucking my shirts in. Do you know what happens when you have bunched up pants, and an extra long, too big polo tucked into those bunched up pants??? Let's just say it's not pretty.

I took my belt off last night when I was finally finished working, and my pants literally fell off. LMAO!!! I felt like one of those teenage boys who wear their pants around their ass, and have to walk with one hand holding them up!!! AND then Larry Platt's American Idol Audition kept playing in my head... Pants on the Ground...

Here's the sad part... Even though I have lost all this weight, and my clothes fit better, and I feel healthier, I can't help but feel self conscience for the first time in a long time. I think it was because I was in a relationship for so long, and I knew that he would be with me no matter what I looked like, and that I really didn't care what anybody else thought. And I still don't care what anybody thinks, but when I stand naked in front of the mirror, I feel ashamed. Maybe it's because I couldn't believe I let myself get that big, and that it took a life changing situation for me to do something about it... idk.... but i've gotta get outta this funk about being self conscience... I just don't know how!!!

On better news, I finally have this weekend off!!! YAY!!!! I have worked 25 days in a row, being on call every night and every weekend, working ridiculous hours, and only have one more day of it, before I go drink my (now less) weight in ALCOHOL. I have not had a drink in over a month... and have been yearning for the chance to!! I'm so ready to De-stress and RELAX for the weekend.

**Since I work 7 days a week, these are the only pants I've really worn. I can't wait to get back into some of my old clothes, if and when I actually have some time off.

No More Brokenness!!!

Ok, so the last 2 weeks have been tough, financially. The paychecks I got two weeks ago from Sears and my current job, barely covered rent and the rest of my bills. BUT... I got my first big paycheck since moving, and it felt great!!! I love my job, I love working, and more importantly, I love making that money. I feel great. For the first time, in a very long time, I am truly happy and content with the way my life is going. I feel like it's finally going in the right direction. I can't wait to see what else God has in store for me this year!! Good, bad or indifferent, I feel ready to take on the world!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Pretzel M&M's

I love how the package on the new pretzel m&m's shows an x-ray of the orange m!! I take x-rays for a living, and my initials are MM.... hahaha....

anyway, i got a lot of feedback from the pictures of ft pierce, so im going to be posting more pictures of my Condo, and my dog soon!!! stay tuned!! it was too dark tonight when i got home to take them.

oh, and on sunday, i ate mcdonalds for breakfast. i was craving some sweet tea and a sausage biscuit. now, let me just say, this is the first time i've ate out since i moved here, and the first time i've had mickey d's in about 2 weeks. and GUESS WHAT??? it was disgusting!!! and the tea wasn't even that great!!!! so, from being here and not eating out all the time, my clothes have gotten BIGGER!!! which ultimately means im getting SMALLER!!!! yay!!! don't ask me how much i've lost, cause i don't even own a scale... hahha

as if you can't tell, tonight is a night of randoms.... and below are the lyrics to the carrie underwood song Undo It. the song really expresses how i feel about my past relationshit and the words in blue are especially meaningful.

I should have known by the way you passed me by

There was something in your eyes and it wasn't right

I should have walked but I never had the chance

Everything got out of hand and I let it slide

Now I only have myself to blame for falling for your stupid games

I wish my life could be the way it was before I saw your face

You stole my happy, you made me cry

Took the lonely and took me for a ride

And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

You had my heart, now I want it back

I'm starting to see everything you lack

Boy, you blew it, you put me through it

I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

Na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, na

Now your photos don't have a picture frame

And I never say your name and I never will

And all your things, well I threw them in the trash

And I'm not even sad

Now you only have yourself to blame for playing all those stupid games

You're always gonna be the same and, oh no, you'll never change

You stole my happy, you made me cry

Took the lonely and took me for a ride

And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

You had my heart, now I want it back

I'm starting to see everything you lack

Boy, you blew it, you put me through it

I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

Na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, na

You want my future, you can't have it

I'm still trying to erase you from my past

I need you gone so fast

You stole my happy, you made me cry

Took the lonely and took me for a ride

And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

You had my heart, now I want it back

I'm starting to see everything you lack

Boy, you blew it, you put me through it

I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

You stole my happy, you made me cry

Took the lonely and took me for a ride

Boy, you blew it, you put me through it

I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it